Rain. And I forgot my umbrella.

Lula's Pinata, a rainbow bear

Sitting under the cross.

As I look at the bearded old guy in the red beret that always hangs out at the bagel shop, the one that once tried to engage me (read: preach without time for replies) to me about the evils of the US and how many times he has dodged the draft, I am reminded of what crossed my mind as I was going up the steps to enter the cafe this morning: Revolutionaries don't walk all the way across town to eat at a NY bagel shop. No matter how much I would like to believe otherwise. It crossed my mind to stop at the little Cuban cafe, but I was already so set on my path.

As I opened the door after thinking this, I was struck with a sudden realization caused by my reflection. I look like a tourist. A little over a week in the city doing physical therapy and this is what happens. City haircut, sunglasses, shorts with my supportive runners. Jesus. Over a year of integration for this. Sweating my way all the way to a bagel cafe mid-day, dreaming of bacon, organic earl grey, cream cheese and air conditioning. What have I become?

Well, I'm determined to undo the undoing I've done. I'll get back on that horse. No matter how many times it breaks my feet. Anyway, back to my misc. rantings now. Sorry for the ego crisis.

Caught the last half of Superbowl at a casino on Sunday and realized how much it sucks without the million dollar commercials, half-time, junk food and the Saints. Ended up watching the commercials, and everything else that they don't play in Panama, on youtube later. Ridiculous. I always just think about what they do with all the caps and shirts they had printed up with the OTHER team as the "champs", waiting to go. What a load of trash. LACES OUT, DAN, as another FB friend so nostalgically regressed.

Bought some marshmallows for the kids, a new collar for the dog. Got to get back to my country living. Going to the river and sucking some oranges, like, straight away.

As my days with the Peace Corps here are winding down, I've been trying to separate my feelings, frustrations and affections. I'm not particular ready to leave Panama or my community, but the last month has left me overly ready to be done with "service" and the pressures of PC priorities. Most of you know how I went into this, wholeheartedly and without expectations. But two years is a long time. And I am giving something, for all that I'm getting in return. Donating it, whatever. Who knew. Two years of your 20's? Valuable stuff. I imagine I'd trade like 4 years of my 60's for 2 of my 20's. I'll spare you the advice and lessons learned. For now.

I haven't let my time here in the city doing physical therapy this week go to waste. I've been eating something yummy everyday.

Sunday went to visit the Baha'i temple. It's one of only 7 in the world. It was really, really nice. The temple is on a hill overlooking the city near an area coincidentally called Ojo de Agua, as well. Its a dome-shaped structure with 9 huge doors, open breezes, birds chirping in the eaves. Their beliefs are refreshing:
One God, Oneness of religions, Oneness of People
No interpretation of sacred texts at services, whoever can read from whichever sacred text chosen. They believe in all the prophets and incarnations of God, the catch seems to be you must believe in Baha'u'llah as well, who is the latest on the list and spoke of said Oneness.

I must say, regardless of beliefs, the temple and their simple service was amazing for me. It was quiet, respectful and meditative. You came and left when you personally felt satisfied with what had transpired. What a novel idea.

Also, visited the Museum of Arte Contemporaneo and the Smithsonian library. Did some research on the Cocle culture. I miss research. Everyone seems to be talking grad school around here. I may have to hit that at some time in the future. I've been having the wildest urges lately to give up all these do right ambitions and just make some art. I feel like I haven't let myself get out enough. But maybe that's coming from being in a conservative culture for two years. I pretty much gawk at tattoos these days. To think I once had a facial piercing. Sigh.

Just ate my first campo mango of the season this morning and it was delicious. Henry left it for me, green, and I patiently waited for it to ripen. Made a simple salsa a couple of days ago with mango from the store, an onion and culantro. Added to bean and cheese tacos, it was delicious.

Dave has convinced me to wait around until tonight to go to a taping of Semillas de Cantores to see a girl form his site sing. It's a national talent show, kind of like american idol, one kid goes home a week. There are ten right now. After that I'll ride back with them to go home and see Elfrida.

The Alfred Hitchcock movies that I watched the other day in the hostel:

Marnie
Torn Curtain
The Man who knew too much
Rear Window
Frenzy
Shadow of a Doubt

With the behind the scenes commentary, that was like 16 hours of Hitchcock. Amazingly awesome. I'm still happy remembering it.

I need to get some pictures printed for people in the community but I'm feeling completely unmotivated to do so. The only time some people even interact with me is surrounding taking a picture and getting it printed for them. That leaves one feeling a little... used. Especially when they don't pay you for it. On the other hand, you could look at it as a side project. 100 random prints of graduations, communions, and home portraits, coming right up. I even threw in a couple for me. Henry and I at the fort in Portobello, before it was washed out during the flooding, and a portrait of San Sebastian from the church that I'd like to paint.

Okay, if anyone has any suggestions about what I should do in July let me hear them. Really. I've got a few ideas, but I could use a few more, or maybe just one concrete one. Besides going down to visit Colombia. I'm already planning on that.